Love and Pain

My attempt to run zen-like yesterday turned into a 9.6 miler. It occurred to me, while on the road, that running and yoga only have so much in common. One of the biggest differences is with yoga, if it hurts, you stop. As I hit 5, and then 6, parts of my body spoke out to remind me that they were there, and they needed a little attention.

I like the pain. I often think that people who run long miles must be masochists.  When my right hip said, “OH, HI!” I was forced to acknowledge that familiar flexor who is usually the first to scream.  I always slow down a bit when a new pain surfaces and am surprised when said pain subsides.

Pain when running happens (unless of course it’s an injury, which is totally different). I haven’t read a single marathoning blog, book or magazine article that suggests one can run that far without some discomfort.

As soon as I noticed my mind moving onto other things, and that my hip wasn’t so bothersome, I wondered who was next?

Throughout my 9.6 yesterday I was reminded that I had toes, a right shoulder-blade, quads (Holy quads), a left calf, and a left inner thigh (who says I must never run long miles in a skirt again).

The funny part that I have learned to love, is that as I keep going, as the pain in the parts subside, it turns into strength that helps to motor my body forward.

Yesterday I accepted (what for me is) a new truth. Yoga and running are way different. And like my children, I love them both for being exactly who they are!

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Meet The Osmundsons

I’m meeting my Grandparents this week.

It’s as crazy as it sounds.

Since I was adopted as a baby it’s taken forty years to meet my biological kin.

Just last February my mom got a call from Gabrielle who said she thought she was my birth sister. Thanks to Facebook and all of her uploaded pictures, there was no doubt she was right.

I spoke to Gabby that night and to my birth mom the very next day.

It was the first time I’d heard the story the story of my birth; the giving up of me.

In the months that followed Gabby came to visit twice and on my birthday surprised me by flying to Raleigh with her children, whom I had yet to meet.

Being with Gabby is easy. We look and talk (a lot) alike.

We’re both stubborn, love clothes, eat too much ice cream, and needed each other in our lives more than we realized in that first conversation.

We’re different too, but meeting Gabby answered many questions that unadopted people take for granted; knowledge about nationality, siblings, body type and personality were finally confirmed.

My birth mom died last August. She was suffering from cancer when Gabby found me and passed away six months to the day after we first spoke. I had been nervous about meeting her in person, but Skyped her a few weeks before her death. It was sad, but I was glad to have a face to face even though she was so sick.

My birth mom had never told the family about me. She kept her secret her entire life only sharing my existence with a couple of people that she trusted.

Gabby only learned that she had a baby sister by the slip of the tongue (she then searched for 14 years).

Not only am I meeting my Grandmother and Grandfather for the very first time as a 40 year old (they are 89 and 90), I’m also meeting aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews (my other sister Danielle’s children), spouses, and (I’m certain) friends of my biological family. Once my birth mother died the secret slowly came out. The grandparents were the last to learn.

Adding to my anxiety about the whole thing is figuring out what I’m going to wear?

I actually do know what I’m going to wear, but the Libra in me will probably change her mind that morning and try on everything else in the closet, before settling on the first thing I’d chosen. It’s my way.

The whole thing is an overwhelming experience and it’s going to take a lot of processing. I hope they like me. I hope the experience is not painful for them.

When my husband awakes I’m going to get ready to run.

After my last run on Friday, I got a lot of feedback about listening to my body and being kind to myself. Instead of going out determined to do the 10 miler that’s on the plan, I’m going to attack my run like a yoga practice; go in with no judgement, setting my intention at the start. It’s not exactly tough marathon training where I must complete a certain mileage, rather a kinder way of being that will help me manage the uncertainties of this coming week.

The first day we met in person. Pure joy!
The Summer visit. Also, my very favorite picture of us!

Cross Training Challenge

I haven’t run since last Wednesday; almost a week. I also haven’t done any other type of movement, which is a big mistake.

Inactivity is detrimental to my well-being. Our human bodies need movement, fresh blood pumping through the system, to keep us healthy and strong. Sometimes I forget, though, how exercise benefits my mind too.

Truth be told, I have lapsed into, “mommy eating,” the past two days and I feel a little down. I firmly believe that perception is reality. When the perception needs adjusting then,  just do it, the Nike way!

As soon as I hop off the computer and take the heat pack off my ankle, I’m going to throw on some gear. I think I’ll start on the yoga mat. My girls love to get out theirs, so we’ll light some incense, put on some music and play. When that gets old, I’ll put on either a Pilates or upper body video. I imagine that by this point I’ll be feeling warm and the fresh prana (blood flow, breathe and life energy in yogi terminology) will be flowing.

I already feel better just thinking about it! Gotta run (so to speak)!

The Uncertainty Principle

Sophie woke up at five complaining that her ear popped. Sure sign of an ear infection, which requires an early morning trip to the pediatrician.

Today is a rest day and I’m glad. I myself woke up feeling a little weary. I skyped with my sister Gabby last night and told her about my day. She worries that I’m pushing myself too much and doesn’t quite get the whole, “training for a marathon,” thing.  I hope she’s not right. I have a tendency to, “burn the candle at both ends,” but training for a marathon is supposed to be taxing, right? Especially living in Mommyland, right?

After our talk, I went back to look over my training plan and I’m pretty sure I need to adjust. I like the Hal Higdon Novice 1 because it seemed “do-able,” but Novice 2 looks closer to where I am.  Novice 2 bumps up the mileage about week 7, which is a concern because I’m trying hard to adhere to the 10% rule. This leads me back to Gabby’s question, “Am I pushing myself too much?” I’m in a quandary.

I think I’ll stay on target for the rest of this week. Tomorrow I’ll run 5, vinyasa yoga on Saturday, with Jen at Evolve Movement, and an 11 mile (long) run on Sunday. My weekly total will be 27. I’ll see how I feel on rest day Monday and then change-up the training plan if necessary.

Today I’ll take care of the girls, maybe do some laundry, eat right and try not to dwell on the uncertainty that comes along with this endeavor.