I was recently accused of being a man-hater. The ill-informed accuser had confused my independence and comfort in being alone with a more sinister point of view.

The truth, however, is so far from the allegation that in my defense I thought a written piece regarding the absurdity was warranted.

I love men. I’m not saying I understand them completely. They are as complicated as complicated gets.

But women are complicated, too, and so putting aside (for a moment) the complicated things that often leave us feeling as far apart as Venus and Mars, let’s focus on the reasons that men are wonderful.

As a little girl I fell in love with a beautiful neighborhood boy. What did I know of love? Not much. But the way he tossed his bike to the ground after effortlessly jumping away from its spinning wheels, hop-skipping himself toward me with a testosterone laced smile? What else did I need to know? The fact that he liked me was icing on the proverbial cupcake. It tasted as sweet.

Swoon worthy looks are nice, but without substance, a pretty face can only take a girl so far!

I have met many a man, who though lacking the chiseled chest of, say, “A David Beckham,” or the rugged handsomeness of, say, “A Jake Gyllenhall,” did have that je ne sais quoi that made this girl swoon as if a Beckham-Gyllenhall combination had just entered the room.

What is that?

That thing?

That spark of magic, which creates butterflies in the belly.

How could you not love that?

I used to joke that I would only date a man who was smarter than me. A pre-requisite, so to speak.

Men with brains, or with knowledge on subjects I haven’t a clue, are fascinating. Before you try to hang me for what sounds like a pre-feminist viewpoint, let me just say, “No one loves a brilliant woman more than I.” But introduce me to a cardiac doctor or an international human rights lawyer or an up and coming film maker (any of whom are) of the male persuasion, and listening and learning about things I don’t quite understand creates a different dynamic of intrigue. Intrigue in unfamiliar packaging.

Mens’ brains are great, but brawn is not bad, either. Science has proven that men have lots of qualities that separate them from women; one of the most obvious being their muscular build which provides them considerably more upper body strength. I do appreciate a strong upper body (as my own is the least strong part of me). Having a man appear to assist, as I try to lift that heavy thing from that high place up there … I love that!

At pre-school pick-up today I was reminded of two more reasons to love men; fathers and grandfathers. I watched as a grey-haired man held the hand of his granddaughter, and sweetly challenged her to see if she could recognize his car. I watched a much younger man trailing behind his little boy who was busily pushing a truck along the sidewalk. I listened as patient dad and curious son has a conversation about the truck, and I kept on, feeling grateful for the additional blog-worthy material.

There are men in the world who love women, and as an extension, love their kids and the idea of the family. I know a man personally who actually said to me, “Not have my wife and kids? What would be the meaning of my life?”

Men who really love women do not just sexualize them. Real appreciation for women as mothers and sisters allow some men into the inner circle. These men, with such respect for the richness that women being to a life, are rewarded by the women they love.

Man-hater? Not me. Not even close.


Are you one of those girls that has found the man who makes you swoon, whose brain you love, who has that thing?

10 thoughts on “Men!

  1. Oh my…a man hater?! Thank you for the beautifully written post. Those who know your heart understand what garbage that statement is. “sticks and stones” Ms. Martha. By the way the mouth that spewed those words belonged to a boy NOT a man. XOXO

  2. Great read today, Martha. I love the ones where I feel myself nodding in agreement with you as I drink my morning coffee. Oh and thank you for those yummy pics to start off my Friday. xox

  3. Favorite photo of DB ever:) Seriously though I was attracted to my OH from the start – not necessarily for his ‘looks’ but for his intellect, wit and non-conformist attitude. He is still thrilling to be around – and yes he’s handsome – but he is respectful, loyal, rebellious, and an amazing Dad – he challenges me every day, then tells me he loves me every night. I like men, but I love my man.

    1. This is what I’m talking about! What a loving and sweet comment! Everyone should be as lucky to have what you two do! XXX

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