It Wasn’t Pretty

I did what I set out to do, but it wasn’t pretty. It was brutal and cold and if you could have  seen my face at the end you’d have had no doubt that I speak the truth.

Next week’s eighteen has to be better. Maybe the sun will shine instead of hiding behind the clouds, which produced a mist that never let up.

Despite my plan to avoid the hills, when running seventeen miles around Raleigh they are unavoidable. I even walked up a few, much to my dismay. I know it’s alright to walk once in a while, but I hate it. It always feels like defeat.

At mile fifteen I asked myself what I was thinking. I’m not lithe like a runner. I am round and slow and felt overwhelming tiredness and pain. My head was in the run more than the rest of me, today. The pain was mental, which is worse than sore feet or aching hips.

My time was what I expected; moving for three hours and fifty minutes. I would have taken a picture of the Garmin, but by the time I was finished I didn’t care about documenting it. My only thought was (in this order) food and water, bath and bed.

So here I am, feet elevated and tucked under a pile of blankets, laptop in the place for which is was named, sweatshirt zipped up to my nose.

Some days you just have to let it go. It’s done and it is what it was. I did what I set out to do, but it wasn’t pretty. Not even close.



14 thoughts on “It Wasn’t Pretty

  1. You should be very proud of yourself. I don’t even know you but after reading your post I am proud of you!! The farthest I have ever gone was 13.1 miles with walking breaks.. Just the thought of running this distance inspires me!!

  2. Let me promise you that even the most lithe of runners will, at some point, ask themselves “what was i thinking”? I know I did several times, and I’m not super lithe either. It’s totally normal to hit a wall or two, and if it makes you feel better, I walked during some training runs as well.
    Regardless, you finished, and that’s what important! Relax today – next weekend is a new run.
    Another blogger posted something today I thought was fantastic. It said “Never underestimate the strength of a woman. Never f@#k with one who runs 26.2 miles for fun”
    You got this!

    1. “You got this” is my new mantra! Thanks for the pep talk…I kinda got a little teary when I read your comment last night.

      It was crazy because last week’s 15 was easier, but I felt like hell for the next two days. Yesterday’s run was a mental challenge, but I ate right and took Advil and all and I felt just fine once I got cleaned up.

      This long distance running thing is a trip, but I’m with that blogger you quoted!

      I’m doing this even if it kills me! 🙂

  3. “The pain was mental, which is worse than sore feet or aching hips.” soooo true! And you definitely have got what it takes: determination and motivation! The rest will come with the training… Like I am hoping it will come to me to go pass the 13.1 :s Great job!

  4. I feel your pain!! But you know, they all aren’t going to be pretty. You got it done despite not feeling it and conquering the mental piece is sometimes harder than the physical. I say you did really well and should be proud of yourself!! Way to go!

  5. The mental pain is often the worst part but you know what? Yes, you built physical endurance by finishing your run (and omg you should be so so proud to have completed it in those conditions! I, on the other hand, sat on my ass.) But most importantly, you built a whole lot of mental endurance. I think that’s what long distance running is all about – it’s not the physical act but really training your body and mind to deal with the negative thoughts and doubts and it’s what you decide to do with those thoughts. You finished. And next week 18 miler will better because of it.

    1. It was strange because I really felt fine once I was home and had eaten, etc. I really think next week will be better!

  6. All runs aren’t pretty, unfortunately. Take this run as a learning experience. Physically you know your body is able to handle that mileage. It’s a mental game. Know that you’ve got the 18 miles next week. Make it your B*tch!

  7. But you did it! That’s amazing!! Be very proud of yourself. And remember that training is hard, so that the race is less so. I also took an epsom salt bath after my long run last Saturday and it works great! Definitely better than ice.

Leave a Reply to auntieket Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.