The sun is not close to being up, I have a headache, and woke up to a couple of Chatty Cathy’s. I knew I should have gone to sleep earlier last night, but was sucked in by those Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Before my eyes have opened, the Cathy’s are embroiled in a deep conversation about the children in their future.
Chatty Cathy A says she is going to have a baby boy and a girl baby. Their names will be Bob and Natalie.
Chatty Cathy B is also going to have a boy and girl. Their names will be Fred and Carah.
Sophie has to pee, but doesn’t want to go alone. She says she’s scared, even though the nightlight is about as bright as the sun. I throw off the covers and escort her one door down.
Grace runs in and turns on the even brighter bathroom light. I stand there and wait. I need coffee and they know it. They whine when I try to sneak down the stairs.
Sophie sees that Grace is wearing a nightgown and decides she needs one too. She didn’t need one last night and chose her Frosty fleecies. I don’t know where the other, “Christmas Balls,” nightgown is located, but I check the guest room bed that’s covered in clean laundry. It’s not there, nor is it in the pajama drawer. A small fit is averted when she finds her monkey footsies. She needs me to help her put them on, so I sit down and turn the feet right side out.
Grace’s hands are cold and she wants to find her mittens. I lie and say that we gave them to the babies who didn’t have mittens. I use this excuse a lot. There are a lot of babies wearing lots of our things (and playing with lots of our toys and sucking all of our pacifiers). More whining ensues.
We trudge down the stairs. Daddy lowered the heater last night, so it’s cold. I turn it back up and throw on the poncho Peachie knit for me.
I get the coffee going while I’m still on auto pilot, and crack open the Advil.
I turn on Nickelodeon and go back to my coffee. I wait. The coffee brews, but the Advil still hasn’t kicked in.
When I finally sit, Grace brings me paper and markers. She wants me to, “write,” our family, which really means she wants me to draw them. I explain the difference and sketch my best stick people. She wants the girls to be wearing princess dresses. Every family member needs to be in a different color. Peach and Aerobella are always included.
Sophie decides she wants a picture too, but when I get to her stick person, the marker dies, and she runs off. Thank goodness for dying markers.
The girls go into their kitchen and Grace colors her paper. It’s quiet for a moment.
I need more coffee.
Sophie is hungry and finds the Trader Joe’s Kettle Corn. She brings it to me and asks for a pink bowl. I get up to get one for her and sit back down to type. Grace sees the bowl and I’m up again.
I tell them I am still not awake and this time it’s my turn to whine. “I’m still sleeping. Leave me alone!”
I’ve got to go to sleep earlier tonight.
I look over my shoulder and the sun is starting to come up. The Advil and coffee are finally working, and I am finally awake.
An ode to the first one hour and fourteen minutes of my day.
How was your morning?